Yesterday's Weigh-In

Yesterday was weigh-in and I maintained at 185.2. As I have been gaining fairly consistently since the accident, this was a small victory. It shows that I can get this under control.

My first goal, 60 minutes of exercise four times a week, was reached last week. I just indulged in some self-sabotage which most likely kept me from losing the weight. This week, I am still focusing on the 60 minutes four times a week, but also trying to get at least three servings of fruits and vegetables into my diet. According the Weight Watcher better health guidelines, I should get five. However, I need to start somewhere.

Meeting tonight at a buffet. Wish me luck! Fortunately, I see buffets as an opportunity for portion control instead of one large pig-out session.

Early Morning Work Out

I woke up early this morning and did pilates. I read in Practical Horseman some time ago that pilates are very effective for evening up one's body. As I am much stronger on my right side than my left, and that messes up my riding, I started a morning pilates routine to solve this problem. It ended up being a very invigorating way to start my day.

My goal is to get 60 minutes of exercise four times a week. I already ride for an hour on Thursday and Sunday, which means I just need to work in two more 60 minute workouts. Basically, the plan is to perform 50 minutes of exercise (20 minutes in the morning; 30 during lunch hour) on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and the hour of exercise on Thursdays and Sundays. This gives me 270 minutes of exercise a week compared to the 240 minutes I would get in the 60 minutes four times a week plan. This should jump start my weight loss and help me feel better. If this just makes me tired, instead of invigorated, I will drop one of the 30 minute work outs.

So far, it just feels good to make this time for myself.

My WW Meeting

First, just want to pull the attention to the fact that I have a cuter picture. It is of me and Cookie, a Fjord/Belgian mix I rode at Long Hollow Ranch. He was great; very steady horse and cute as a button. He was also a PMU rescue which just adds to this happy story. If I had a large truck and trailer, and a pile of cash, I would take him home right now. :)

First WW meeting in a while went fantastic. It was very inspiring and helps to see food in different ways. I start to do better once I see food as nourishment and not some enemy that needs to be conquered. Tonight, I could easily stuff my face after finishing dinner, but I have not the desire. It is nice to feel such control.

As you can probably tell, I am very tired. Time to return some email, watch a little TV and go to bed.

Time for meetings!

Five years ago, I joined Weight Watchers for the first time. I was very successful and lost 25 pounds. Now, I have about 60 pounds to lose. It is not coming off easy.

What are the differences? First, my age. It was much easier to lose weight at 28-29, then it is at 34. Second, I attended Weight Watchers meetings and attended them religiously. Not only did I learn a lot at the meetings, but there was something about being weighed by another person that kept me on track. It's weird but it is almost like I should feel like I am being watched.

Tonight, I attend my first Weight Watchers meeting in five years. Getting on the scale will be pretty scary, but I won't learn anything I didn't already know---which is, that I have gained a ton of weight in the last three years. I will start my statistics over again, except for one . . . .

I took measurements over the weekend and did not change much. However, I did lose 0.5" from my waist. Thought those pants were a little looser. :)

Not as Successful as I'd Like

Sure enough, the stress eating resulted in another 1.5 pounds gained last week. The rich food of my weekend break probably did not help either.

I decided to keep pulling forward. I will count points this week and since becoming determined to own my overeating problem, I have not done so. I can only improve from here.

Fat Rant

Monday(9/29/08) was weigh-in. It resulted in another pound gained.

Now, I feel there are no more excuses. I hate being fat. I hate getting winded walking up hills. I hate not being able to go to the hot springs this weekend because I am too big for my swimsuit. I hate how pictures of me on horses look. I hate pictures of me, period. What is more is that I hate hating these things.

I can blame anything. My job. My horrible self esteem. My medication. All the stress in my life. However, this all comes down to me and whether I wish to take care of myself. Sure, there is a certain pleasure in eating anything I want. But it is not worth it if it just leaves me feeling horrible afterward.

Today things will change. Today I start over. Sure, Monday may be another gain, but there are many losses to happen in the future. Right now, there are no excuses, no barriers. Just action.